Time will tell

To all those out there:  you are loved by God and that will never change! 

Most of my life I felt like a failure!  I had no talent!  Nothing that I was really, really good at.  I once loved to draw and paint.  But as I entered jr high, my work was just okay.  There were lots of kids who could do much better than I.  And to tell you the truth I got this attitude from my mom.  She was always downing her self.  So to parents out there, watch what you say even when it's about yourself.  So I didn't strive like I once had!  I didn't do all that I could, or be all that I could be.  And part of the problem was that my time and energy were so focused on eating and purging, that when I did think about doing better, whatever it may have been, I was tired and or drawn away from things by my thoughts of food.
Year after year of living this way stole my fire.
It had to be all or nothing.
I was either great or a failure.  I either ate that day and throw up or I must not eat a single morsel all day.  Every thing had to be perfect.  When I got up in the morning, my routine to get ready for school, how things came together after school, every thing had it's place.  If something good or bad disrupted my world, I would fall apart.
Thank goodness God is not like that!  Two years ago I rededicated my life to Christ and that's when I began to learn that in the middle was okay.  By in the middle in mean NORMAL!  Nothing is perfect.  No one is perfect.  No plans are perfect.  But God still loves us!  He is perfect. 
What we need to focus on is God!  Then our mind set changes and we start to think about how Jesus would do things.  And then our actions start to follow our thoughts.  And then what seemed to be "just okay", is beautiful!  And then we start doing our very best and not measuring our best with someone else.  And then a miracle happens!  What we do is perfect to God!
My life has not been perfect by any means.  But it has been perfect for me!  Through the mountains that I climbed, through the desert that I was lost in, I found God.
My embarrassment over being bulimic has turned to understanding of what others are going through with addiction.  My actions that have plagued me for so long, are lessons that I can share with others.  I'm not a teacher, counselor, doctor, pastor.  I am however a child of God.  And so are you.  That makes us siblings!  And as my family, I love you all.  And when you love someone, you do all that you can to help.
So in parting today I leave you with this:
Turn right or get left, Sinner!!  I love you all and have a great day!